


Grief

by Cellocky



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Just a bad time, Prison, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Traumatized Toby Smith | Tubbo, Tubbo's in denial, set after the 3/1 stream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellocky/pseuds/Cellocky
Summary: Tubbo goes through the five stages of grief in response to Tommy's death.DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptanceWell, Tubbo goes through four of the five stages of grief.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & Ranboo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 8
Kudos: 181





	Grief

After Tubbo said goodbye to Ranboo he left. He was tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep. The trudge to Snowchester was normal, it didn’t drag on forever or pass by in an instant like people described how they felt in the movies. It was just a walk he’d made hundreds of times before. The only difference he noticed was that he felt vaguely floaty, like he wasn’t entirely there. Probably a bad sign if he was honest with himself, but he was just too tired to care.

His bed called to him when he approached, and he knew the next day he probably wasn’t going to be able to get out of bed unless someone dragged him. But that was a problem for tomorrow Tubbo, so whatever. He didn’t think he’d ever fallen asleep so fast. 

He woke up the next morning and.

Nothing.

He didn’t feel anything.

He was wrong, it was easy to get out of bed. It was easy to eat breakfast and set out for the hotel. He was looking forward to getting it up and running. At least. He was yesterday. That probably hadn’t changed since then.

The walk was the same as the day before. Normal but floaty. Though today there also seemed to be a fog somewhere. Either in his head or out of it. He couldn’t tell.

The hotel was in the same place as before. It hadn’t grown legs and ran off in the night.

That was good.

The other hotel looked different.

That wasn’t good.

It wasn’t supposed to be different. Nothing was supposed to change.

He walked to the front of the building. There was a new sign out front. It didn’t say what it was supposed to.

The Big Jack Manifold Hotel.

Jack himself strolled out the front doors, his arm slung over Niki’s shoulders.

Tubbo saw red.

Oh there’s an emotion. Weird.

He lept at Jack, and then he was on top of him. He didn't lose control of himself in the slightest. He was completely aware of every action he took. Every time his fist connected with Jack’s stupid face. The glee he felt when those stupid fucking glasses shattered and crumpled. Every single curse he spewed, spit spraying out of his mouth onto this bald prick’s moronic fucking bitch ass face. In that moment he hated everything. The sky for being blue, the grass for being green, Dream for killing his best friend, Philza Minecraft for never giving Tommy the home he deserved, Wilbur for giving him that home then taking it away, and Technoblade for finally destroying even the ashes, never to rise again.

But more than anything else on the planet. More than he hated the man who beat his best friend to death with his bare hands, he hated Jack Manifold. Because Tommy loved his hotel. He finally had something to look forward to, and he hadn’t even been dead for a day before Jack Fucking Manifold took it from him.

Jack’s face was steadily turning more and more purple and black, and there was an alarming amount of blood in the growing puddle underneath his head.

Someone pulled on his shoulders, and suddenly he couldn’t reach the target of his rage anymore. Whoever it was wrapped long arms around his own to hold them to his sides, and held him back against their chest so he couldn’t move or lash out any more.

Someone else was screaming, though it was slowly being drowned out by sobs. Over the next few seconds, he came to realize that someone was him. He leaned back into Ranboo, shoulders shaking.

“Fuck you.” he weakly told Jack, who was being helped into a sitting position by Niki. “Fuck you, you bastard. He hasn’t even been dead for a day, you fucking shithead.” he choked on a sob. “He’s dead.”

Ranboo gathered him into his arms and picked him up with ease. He carried him back toward the Bee ‘n Boo, running his hand through his hair and shushing him as he cried into his shoulder. As they walked away, he saw Niki help Jack limp back into the Big Jack Manifold Hotel.

Fucking stupid name.

Ranboo held him close, and he clutched at the taller boy's shirt. At this point he was wailing obnoxiously, but he physically couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t breathe. Fuck.

As they went through the front doors, all he could think of was how much he hated everyone who had hurt Tommy. Every single person who brushed him aside as a loud, arrogant, child, but tried him like an adult when he messed up. All of them who assumed that because Tommy never let anyone see his emotions, that he didn’t have any. He hated that he was included in that group of people.

Ranboo gently set him on his feet, then rubbed his back and hugged him close. “C’mon Tubbo. Let it out, it’s alright.”

“It is not fucking alright! Tommy’s dead, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye! He died while I was busy fucking around, building competition to the only thing that made him happy anymore. And he died to that fucking bastard!” he leaned back to get a better look at Ranboo’s face. “You know Dream killed him all three times? Every single one of Tommy’s lives was taken by Dream.” he put his face in his hands. “And we chose to keep him alive. We chose to keep him in the prison instead of killing him when we had the fucking chance! And why? Cause he…” 

He…

Tubbo raised his head and turned toward the prison.

Dream said he could...

Before he knew what was happening, he was sprinting out the door. The wind whipped past his face and dried the tear tracks as he ran as fast as possible toward the towering blackstone building. As he ran, he brought out his communicator and called Sam.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?” 

He sounded tired.

Good.

“Sam let me into the prison. I'll be there in less than a minute.”

He could hear Ranboo’s concerned shouting from somewhere far behind him, but he couldn’t slow down for a moment.

“Tubbo, I can’t let you into the prison, we still haven’t found the cause of the security issue and even if we had, I’m not letting anyone visit Dream for a while.”

“Sam if you don’t fucking let me into the prison right godamn now I will make sure that you regret it for the rest of your miserable life. It’s your fault my best friend is fucking dead, you were supposed to protect him!” he snarled.

At this point he was getting close to the entrance, and standing outside was the man himself, so he hung up in favor of shouting at him.

“Sam let me in right now!”

“No.” 

The warden was in full swing. He even had on his sunglasses, something Tubbo hadn’t seen in months.

“Sam I have to speak to Dream!” he skidded to a stop in front of the imposing figure.

Sam was wearing his full netherite, and had his sword drawn. “I said no, Tubbo.”

“The only reason we kept Dream alive is because he said he could bring people back to life, so let me in right now so I can make that son of a bitch bring Tommy back!” Tubbo’s hands were fisted at his sides.

Sam fixed him in place with his stare. “Right before it happened, they were arguing about that. Tommy said that he didn’t believe that Dream even had a resurrection book. Dream said that he did, but that he would never use it for Tommy or anyone he loved. Either way he won’t bring Tommy back. I’m sorry, Tubbo. You’re not entering the prison.”

Tubbo had to resist stomping his foot like a child. “Then we have to make him! Don’t you get it Sam? We can get him back! Don’t you want him back?”

“Of course I do, Tubbo.” he took off his glasses and rubbed at one of his eyes. They were bloodshot. “I want that more than anything. But life doesn’t work that way, okay? Sometimes people die. Sometimes it’s your fault. And sometimes you just have to live with it.”

“Tommy wouldn’t have given up if I’d died. He’d have done everything in his power to bring me back, even if it meant working with Dream.” Tubbo’s vision was going cloudy again.

“And Tommy would have been let down. Just like you would be.” Sam knelt down and put his hand on one of Tubbo’s shaking shoulders. “Tommy’s gone. And I’m sorry.”

And.

Tubbo broke.

Tommy was dead, and Tubbo was a terrible best friend.

God, when was the last time he’d even spoken to Tommy?

He was so busy with Ranboo, so excited to have someone else that understood him that he never even thought about Tommy.

The next thing he was aware of was staring up at the ceiling of the Bee ‘n Boo.

He wasn’t crying anymore, and his eyes felt dry.

When was the last time he blinked?

Ranboo was asleep in a chair next to the bed.

Puffy was on his other side, her head in her hands, and her shoulders shaking.

He could see Sam outside the door, polishing his trident.

He’d never felt more alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck.


End file.
